On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
