Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize