32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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