We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Someone shattered a urinal.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
