She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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