I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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