I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
