theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
