i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
