My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
