man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
