Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize