last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
