I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
