You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
