i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
