i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he shaved USA in his pubs
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
this hospital has no fireball
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
