oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
this hospital has no fireball
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
