my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
