scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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