I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
