So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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