Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
