I wish I could teleport
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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