im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
