the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
