Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
