so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
