I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Did you just see the Batmobile???
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
