i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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