Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
They are going to name an STD after you.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
