Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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