I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
