It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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