But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
