You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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