Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
