TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
