their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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