nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
