Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
