Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
