I heard we made out
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i wish my penis had a tongue
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
