well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
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