I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I didn't notice because vodka
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize