Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
