am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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