hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
