Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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