i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
