Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
