2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
