It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
