I accidentally burped into my bong.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize