We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
