How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
