She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize