what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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