I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize