I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
