Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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