i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
