It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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