He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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