tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I did not marry a roomba.
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