I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
