dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
