i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
