My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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