I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
