Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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