Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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